What is Sex Therapy?
Has the intimacy between you and your partner faded away?
Are you unable to talk about or experience sexual satisfaction within your relationship?
Do you experience anxiety, embarrassment or resistance when it comes to sex?
Do tensions run high because you and your partner have totally different levels of sexual desire and expectations?
Has your sex life become somewhat boring or mundane and is in need of a little spice?
Ladies, do you have difficulty reaching orgasm or experience painful sex?
Gentlemen, do you sometimes struggle with gaining or maintaining an erection?
If you can relate to any of these struggles, you are not alone!
Almost all couples experience a handful of these challenges at some point within their relationship, leaving partners feeling disconnected and often dissatisfied, feeling lost and frustrated, not knowing what to do or whom to talk to about their experience.
Sex Therapy can be a wonderful resource to address and resolve these concerns.
Hi! I'm Rachel Smith
Let’s Demystify Your Sexual Experience
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word SEX?
When sex comes up in conversation, how do you tend to respond? Do you shy away or laugh a little out of discomfort? Or maybe you cringe as if someone said something dirty or shameful. Or maybe the topic perks you up and brings about a sense of excitement and curiosity.
The way we respond and relate to sex, sexuality and our sexual selves often stems from messages we received about sex and experiences we have had, witnessed or heard about throughout our lives. Many of us did not have parents or caregivers that were open, honest and forthcoming about sex, and that is probably related to their own lack of education and support.
Let’s face it, the traditional sex ed. we receive in schools does not offer a comprehensive view of sexuality. Merely learning about basic sexual anatomy and childbirth does not cover the breadth of the sexual experience. And to make matters worse, the immense fear and angst that is stressed over the negative consequences of STD’s and pregnancy often adds to the negative associations that we develop about sexuality very early in our life experience.
What would have happened if the adults in our life were instead open and honest about both the pleasures and responsibilities related to becoming a sexual being? Acknowledging the fun and excitement that can be associated with taking ownership of your sexual self, while leaving the door open for questions and concerns as they arise… Do you think we would still experience the same amount of discomfort, guilt and shame often associated with SEX?
Sex Therapy Myths and Misconceptions
Sex Therapy at its core is Relationship Therapy. If it does not involve a relationship with a partner, it often involves the relationship we have with ourselves, especially the relationship we have developed with our bodies.
It seems Sex Therapy has developed an interesting reputation over the years, with several misconceptions. First, let me be clear - Sex Therapy is in fact talk therapy. There is nothing elusive or shady about this process, as it is very much in line with other traditional talk therapies. Without this understanding, some people get confused between a Sex Therapist and a Sex Surrogate, who can work in partnership when clinically appropriate. Sex Surrogates are trained professionals who actively engage in sexual activities with clients, while Sex Therapists simply engage in therapeutic conversations about your sexual self, your sexual experiences, and your sexual relationships.
When there is so much misinformation and stereotypes related to our sexual selves and our sexual experience, we can often feel lost, inadequate and broken, especially when our reality doesn’t seem to measure up to all the ways sex is being depicted and portrayed in our society, culture or media.
Why should we succumb to the pressures of society when the messages that it spews about sexuality are often unrealistic and false?!
Let’s stop the sense of embarrassment and shame around real conversations about sex and intimacy in our relationship.
Let’s talk about how difficult it can be to maintain a real intimate connection after being married for several years. Let’s talk about what to do when we have a different level of sexual desire than our partner. Let’s talk about how uncomfortable we can feel sharing our bodies with someone else, especially after having children. Let’s talk about the shame, fear, and anxiety we develop from feeling as though we don’t meet certain expectations, especially in terms of performance. Let’s talk about the way double standards play out in relationships. Let’s talk about how we can maintain intimacy when our bodies change with age. Let’s talk about how difficult it can be to enjoy intimacy with our partners after a history of trauma… Let’s talk about it, because these conversations are not happening enough, and marriages and families are falling apart because of it.
These challenges, and many others, often begin with a lack of communication between partners, which can ultimately lead to a disconnect, discontentment, disregard, and dissatisfaction within relationships.
If problems continue to go unaddressed, many couples reach a state of despair, which can eventually result in the consideration of separation and divorce. The problem can be exasperated even further if "outsourcing" sex and intimacy through extra-marital affairs has occurred, which often leaves one or both partners feeling lonely, abandoned, betrayed or not worthy of love.
Yes, opening up a conversation into your sex life can feel very uncomfortable, uneasy or overwhelming at first, especially if this type of conversation is very new to have. However, if you’re looking to repair, renew or rebuild your relationship, you’ve come to the right place. Sex Therapy can lead to viable and sustainable resolutions.
with Infinite Intimacy
Infinite Intimacy is a collaborative therapeutic service that helps individuals and couples reconnect and reignite the passion within themselves and their relationship to experience more comfort and joy. We work together to create and embrace a more authentic relationship with yourself and your partner to develop the confidence and freedom necessary to find the closeness you and your significant other have been yearning for.
As a Certified Sex Therapist with a license and training in Marriage and Family Therapy, therapy with me will help you develop deeper love, respect, and openness within yourself and your relationship. Allow me to be your bridge and your light to a brighter, more vibrant relationship, one filled with pleasure, excitement, clarity and connection to reignite a burning spark between you.