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3 Ways to Heat Things Up This Summer from Your Sex Therapist

Summer is here, and the rising temperatures have us all feeling the heat. But while the sun may be blazing outside, can you say the same for the atmosphere in your bedroom? This season is the perfect time to rekindle the flames of passion and intimacy in your relationship. As your sex therapist, I'm here to share three powerful ways to heat things up this summer.

Older black couple smiling on a jet ski

1. Ditch the Expectations

One of the biggest barriers to a sizzling sex life is the weight of expectations. We often carry preconceived notions about what intimacy should look like, creating unnecessary pressure and stress. This summer, make a conscious effort to let go of these expectations. Instead, focus on being present in the moment with your partner.

When you free yourself from the pressure to perform or achieve a particular outcome, you open the door to genuine connection and enjoyment. This can mean slowing down, taking the time to explore each other's bodies without an agenda, and appreciating the journey rather than fixating on the destination. It’s time to slow down and savor the moments right in front of you, not focusing on where you “think” you should be.

Mature couple surprising with blindfold

2. Embrace Exploration

Summer is synonymous with adventure and exploration, so why not bring that same spirit into your bedroom? This is the ideal time to try something new and exciting with your partner. Whether it's experimenting with different types of touch, exploring new erogenous zones, or trying out various positions, embracing exploration can add a fresh and exhilarating dimension to your intimacy.

Consider setting aside time for a "pleasure adventure," where both of you are open to discovering new ways to please and be pleased. This could involve sharing fantasies, introducing toys, or even taking your intimacy outdoors to feel the thrill of nature around you. The key is to approach this exploration with curiosity and an open mind, turning each encounter into a journey of mutual discovery and delight.

Young couple cooking together

3. Be Open to Communication

Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and it's especially crucial when it comes to your sex life. This summer, make a commitment to fostering open, honest, and vulnerable conversations with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and fantasies.

Start by creating a safe and non-judgmental space where both of you feel comfortable sharing your thoughts and feelings. This can be as simple as setting aside regular "check-in" times to talk about your experiences and what you enjoy or would like to try. Being open about your needs and listening to your partner's can deepen your connection and ensure that both of you are on the same page.

Effective communication not only enhances your sexual satisfaction but also strengthens your emotional bond. Remember, it's not just about talking but also about listening and responding with empathy and understanding.

By ditching expectations, embracing exploration, and being open to communication, you can transform your summer into a season of sizzling intimacy and connection. So turn up the heat and enjoy a summer filled with passion and pleasure.


Rachel Smith

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Board Certified Sex Therapist

I have a passion for empowering ambitious women and committed couples on a journey of love and healing to rekindle passion and deepen connections. As the founder of Infinite Intimacy, I offer therapeutic services, workshops, and retreats to help clients be their authentic selves in life and relationships.

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